Leaving a legacy

I was in the car with my 14 year old sister driving around Port Charlotte, Fl., iPod plugged in, shuffle all songs, and Katy Perry comes on. Probably wondering why I have Katy Perry in my music library. So my sister starts singing along..."baby you're a firework, come on show em what you're worth, make them say Oh Oh Oh..." I remember thinking, wow these lyrics are a little insane; but insane in a good way. I decided to go home, do what I do best, and YouTube. Finally found a video with the lyrics and so I watched and read the lyrics, while my sister is singing the song.

I started to winder how many individuals have we ever read or heard about that did something incredible, kinda like a firework of a generation? What about Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, Jr., Ronald Regan, John F. Kennedy, Michael Jackson, and well the most controversial, Jesus Christ....Think about it! What do all of these people have in common? They left their mark on this world, a firework of their "time", and leaving a legacy that would last a persons lifetime.

On my way to the airport today, I got a call and heard about a friend who had passed away last night. She had battled leukemia for a while now. Doctors told her on December 19th, that she only had a few days to live. I would look at her Facebook page, watch videos that were taken of her, hear all the stories and pictures many would share about her. Bottom line, she was an amazing young woman. She impacted everyone who came in contact with her.

Once I got past TSA and was able to sit a the gate and process, I started to think, "WOW!! It seems like 2011 is starting out the way 2010 ended!" I'll be honest, even as a Christ-Follower, it sucks when good people lose a battle with cancer or taken from us so suddenly. I couldn't wrap my mind around all the people who were diagnosed with a disease in 2010 and all those who had passed. Sitting on the plane, I plugged in my ear buds into the iPod and no lie, the first song on the shuffle play list, Katy Perry "Firework". I was like, "O.k. God, what is the deal with this song?"

Many of those that I lost in 2010 and even my friend I learned about today were folks who left their mark on this earth. Each had an unforgettable and charismatic spirit. The type of folks you instantly fall in love with. As morbid as this may sound, I started to think about my legacy.

I wondered if I would be remembered for all the mistakes I made or remembered for the person I was.

Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, Jr., Ronald Regan, John F. Kennedy, Michael Jackson, and yes, Jesus Christ.... We don't tent to talk about their mistakes. We talk about all that they did while they were here on earth. I was reminded today, tomorrow is not promised. While we try and impress those around us, ask yourself, what are you doing to impact the world around you?

I think this songs hits me at the core because it's true...I am a firework. I've always said, I have one shot to leave a lasting impression. Well if you're reading this blog, safe to say you know me, and safe to say I live up to those words. Yes, I finally admitted it...I am unforgettable. The way I see it, no two fireworks are exactly the same. Each has their own specific pattern and color, much like DNA in humans. You were created to be different and unique. There is only one you and pretending to be something you're not or impressing others around you, well...just ain't cool!!!

So the question is how are you impacting those around you? What does your legacy look like? Are you going to continue to be a copy or stay an original?

Check out the video! More to come kiddos...

New Year

Can you believe it's actually 2011?!?!

Here's what I can't believe. I am sitting in a hotel in Brooklyn, NY. writing this blog! Never in a million years would I have thought I would be in NYC just enjoying it. This town looks a lot different when you aren't here for work or for school trips. I actually feel like an adult. Well, if I must say, a tourist. HA!

I remember graduating from high school back in 2001 and thinking 2011 will never get here. And, well now....here we are 10 years later, January 1st, 2011. Later on this year, I'll be going to my 10 year High School reunion; even though I feel like we've caught up thanks to Mark Zuckerberg and a little website called Facebook.

Well for some a new year is a fresh start to do things right. Others a point in life where they can re-commit to their goals from years past. Well if you are like me it's another day/year to keep truckin and make it better than the last year. What can I say? I am my father's child. You can blame him for some of my realists ways.

Now I know today is the day that we sit down and come up with resolutions for 2011. What are we committing to change or do in these next 364 days. That's great!!! But why is it by mid March to late August we put those resolutions on the back burner? Life just gets to be too much, right? I challenge you to set some goals for yourself; realistic ones. If you want to lose 100lbs this year, commit to a workout routine and diet that can become a lifestyle. Or if you want to make a difference in your community, start with volunteering with a soup kitchen, local church, or homeless shelter. Looking to go back to school for something you've always wanted to learn or better your opportunities, call me and I help you out. (LOL, can you blame a woman for trying?)

Whatever you decide is important for you to accomplish in 2011, I challenge you to increase your faith just a little, step out of what is comfortable, and see what happens. You might surprise yourself! Just don't try and do it all in one month.

I don't really know what 2011 will hold for me. I know this, big things are coming my way. This year I have one goal and one goal only. Wanna hear/read about it? I am not going to awaken love until it so desires. And when I do I find it or it finds me--whatever works in that last sentence--I am not going to run away from it. 2010 taught me one thing, I deserve to be happy; and in 2011 I choose to embrace it.

Happy New Year, my little readers!! More to come this year I promise

Men are from.....

First things first let's make this clear.

My blog is an expression of my opinions of things going on around me politically, professionally, and relational. My thoughts and opinions are not directed at anyone in specific.

I've managed to stop blogging because I was sick of the emails that say "you were hurt" or "you were offended." I titled this blog "The Truth According to Esther" for a reason.... Based on whatever is going on, I am entitled to that opinion. And this blog is my outlet for expressing that.

So with that said, let's talk about Men!

Yeah, for a few days lets talk about men.

I know, I am single and what could I possibly know about men?

Men tend to think they know everything about women! And women think they know all things there is to know about men. The sad reality.... NEITHER SEX UNDERSTANDS AND KNOWS EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX! (oh yeah, I so went there)

I don't even think women learn from the past mistakes that they've made with men, so they aren't doomed to repeat them. I've watched friend after friend do the very same thing that went wrong with the last one and wonder why they are left hurt.

Ladies, read this slowly and then exhale..... MEN ARE SIMPLE CREATURES. They weren't created to be complexed or difficult to understand. Of the the two sexes....these guys are probably the easiest to understand. And as a woman....let's face it, we're difficult!!

Primary example, let's go shop for an LCD high definition television. Men will probably hit the local Best Buy. They'll tell the sales guy exactly what they are looking for and by George W. the sales guy will give them what they are looking for and offer them the idea of saving 10% if they apply for a credit card, therefore making our LCD HDTV a little more affordable. Same deal but now a woman, ladies, we'll go to Target, Sears, Wal-mart, HH Gregg, back to Sears, Circuit City, Ebay, Craigslist, back to Wal-mart, and then settle on the idea that it will be cheaper and available on Black Friday even if we have to stand outside in 30 degree weather. And girl stop trippin cause you know I am telling the truth.

When it comes to relationships with the opposite sex, we over complicate everything! It's like we forget to think with right mind that God gave us.

Now hear me clearly, there's nothing wrong with being a smart, independent woman. Many of us are very good at shining during a discussion and engaging a man on an intellectual level. We'll impress a man and make him enjoy our company, but feel disappointed to learn that he feels no chemistry – even if we have a great deal in common.

Well let me help you out here, it's because when you try to connect with a man through his mind, he doesn't feel a thing!

Something I've learned from one of my mentors this year--for a man to fall in love with you, he needs to feel touched by you in a deep, connected, emotional sense.

Let that marinate because tomorrow I will talk about the women who try to connect with a man physically!

(and don't worry men, I'll give you some insight on women)

The LIST!!! (insert dramatic music here)

I've been watching "What Chilli Wants" on VH-1. I know, I know....mindless TV! The premise of the show is that Chilli from the group TLC is looking for love. So she hires a "matchmaker!" Enter's matchmaker and Chilli hands her a list of what the man must have and can't have! OH LORD!!!

Any how, I've been on the single route for a minute now. (yep SINGLE as they come) Actually, this is the longest I've gone with out dating or having any prospects. Kinda digging it. (slap me later!!). I'll admit it, I've tried online dating! One of the main things they ask--in order to best match you up-- is a list of your "must haves" and "can't stands." Sidebar, the internet is the internet. YOU CAN BE ANYONE YOU WANT TO BE!! I can be Tiger Woods' neighbor. I can say I have a body of Halle Berry..... I can go on and on, and you get the point.

So a few days ago, I am out with a college friend and we are discussing marriage, dating, sex, the whole nine. This joker has the nerve to tell me to write a list out of what I am looking for in a mate. And you know how stubborn I am. I thought about it for a nano second and then I slapped myself back to 2010. I asked my friend if they have a list when meeting their mate? To my surprise.....NO!! So let me get this straight, come up with a list of what I want in a mate but you met yours without one?!?!?! Um, pot meet kettle

I don't discourage any man or woman from writing down "the List" of what they are looking for in a mate. I just want to know, why do it?

I believe that God has destined who will have the honor and joy of being my husband (I pray for that man!!!! I encourage you to do the same--if you haven't met me, I am alot to handle). Do I want a dude who is a strong man of God? YES!!! Do I want a dude with a sense of humor? Yes! Do I want a dude who's intelligent? OH YEAH!!! and I could go on and on, listing every tiny detail I want in a man! Soon enough, our prayers get consumed with "God he needs to drive a Range Rover and have blue eyes!"

One of my ex-boyfriends introduced me to his mom one night at an O'Charleys restaurant in Alabama. I'll never forget what she had said to me, "You can't help who you fall in love with!" And the hopeless romantic in me, still believes it! There is nothing wrong with a list of qualities we look for in a mate; a list of deal breakers if you want. I feel that the problem with being that picky, limits anyone you will ever meet. You may spend your natural life looking for all 140 "qualities" on your list--never meeting your perfect one!!!

Now I know what you are probably thinking. So here's my soap box moment!

I am not saying to settle for the first man or woman who WOW's you. What I will say, is know your worth and don't settle for anything less. Don't put up with someone's mess because you are hoping one day they will change or see you for who you truly are! And LADIES, just because a man buys you a drink in a bar, or dinner, doesn't mean he deserves an invitation to your bedroom! (jus throwing it out there).

You can pray that your future mate is a great man/woman of God, has a great sense of humor, gentle spirit, kind heart, excellent taste in music....etc. Just don't find yourself praying that they have no kids, brown eyes, wavy dirty blond hair, a nice set of abs, a Lexus crossover. Earthly goods, looks, and money will fade!

"Love never fails....... For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears........
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

Praying God's best for you!

Mercy.

It's 2:40am and I am blogging.... I guess you can call me an insomniac

So this is the second blog entry that flirts with the personal life. I was trying to avoid that with this blog but oh well.

For the past few weeks I've been studying the friendship of Jonathan and David in the Bible. I am learning a lot. But I am not ready to share what I've learn....but hang with me for a second.

Last week, at church we talked a little bit about mercy. Webster's defines mercy as: compassion or forbearance shown especially to an offender or to one subject to one's power. So this week I decided to show mercy. NOT AN EASY TASK. There were a few moments, I had to stop and take a moment to take myself out of the situation and then proceed. Dude seriously, how did Jesus turn the other cheek so many times? No for real.....

I had learned to pick my battles, but this week was one of those weeks where, wow oh wow, Lord have mercy.

Tonight, I really started to wonder how do you show compassion to someone who can't even see the good in people or themselves? How do you show compassion to someone who can't appreciate your friendship in the good and the bad? How do you continue to show compassion to someone who is always looking for what they can get out of you? I find myself, throwing my hands up and not knowing any more. But I know I don't want to be the one who points out the speck in everyone's eye but ignoring the plank in my eye (See Matthew 7:3-5).

To show mercy, isn't easy. For real, you just want to slap the person into reality, or walk away from it all. I realized it takes mercy to love someone, who's emotionally dead, back to life. It takes mercy to have someones back who can't appreciate the good and harps on the bad. It takes mercy to work at it even when the other person gives up. So dude, how did Jesus turn the other cheek? He showed mercy..... Christ follower or not, the question still remains, are you showing mercy?

Bang head

(to my reader(s)) This blog entry is long over due....and a little personal.

For the past few weeks, it's been needless to say interesting.

Talk about the stress level on high alert. And because I am human, the way I deal with stress may not be the way you deal with it. Follow me.....

So here's what's going on

• Spiritual life.....In the valley pushing towards the mountain top



• Professional life.....I am in the middle of a huge transition. It's good for me and what I've been praying for. The kicker, I am currently where I am at for a little while longer.....



• Love life..... yeah I am eating chocolate! White, Dark, Milk, Caramel, Peanut Butter.....um, chocolate!



• Personal life.....should I even go there???

So as you can see these things have pushed my stress level to HIGH! And if you know me, you know I don't manage my stress well. See I am not stress eater, cleaner, runner, etc., etc...whatever else people do when they are stress out. Me, I get very introverted, impatient, and snappy. I don't care how you say it, how you did it, who you did it with or to, where, when, and why....bottom line is I tend to not care. I know #epicfail

I realized today, that no matter how stress out, we as humans get, we make it all about us! It's never about attacking the problem head on and finding a solution. We make it all about us and we get almost self-destructive. Just think about it..... We over eat, we exercise till it hurts, we clean the house to "perfection" then snap when someone doesn't use a coaster on the coffee table, we drink alcohol in excessive amounts, we bang our heads against something (kid you not--you've seen it or done it at least once), or we pick arguments just so we can be mad at some thing or someone.

I don't have tips on how to manage stress or how to overcome it. Just this, the next time stress gets you...be a part of the solution, don't continue to feed the problem. Find a way to channel that negative energy. (Yes, stress is negative energy) For me, it's writing....it's getting out my day through a text, email, blog, or journal. I told you this one was a little more personal than normal.

Sticks and Stones; And yes, Words.....

Topic: Words

Oh, "sticks and stones will break your bones but words will never hurt me." Or, "I am rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you!" Here's the kicker, words do hurt! It doesn't matter how you say it but what you say!

Okay so rack your brain for a second.....think about every friend that you hang out with, on your Facebook, or following you on Twitter. Okay....there has to be on who speaks sarcasm fluently....

Okay now think about the last thing that person said to you. Now think about how it made you feel. Now I'll give you a minute to go to the place and remember....I'll be right back!

I have a friend who doesn't think before they speak. (And I thought I had no filter) Some of the things that come out of my friend is straight from left field. It's almost like a personal attack about me to me in the form of sarcasm. And it hurts every time! I sometimes sit back and ask myself why is it I continue to put up with it? And the answer came to me while on the phone with my sister Debby.

I've been blessed with two parents who not only love me but would do anything to insure my happiness and security. Growing up, I was never told I was fat (even though....I am), I was never told I was ugly, I was never told I was worthless, I was never told I am unkind, etc.... I was blessed with the very opposite! Two parents who told me I could do anything I set my mind to. So What if that boy doesn't like you, you are beautiful! You are a big girl, but you wear it well! You are the daughter of a King!! Your source is not in man but in the God who gave you to us!!!

I am a friend to this person, not because I need their friendship but I need to show them a positive, healthy relationship. It is my prayer that with every person I encounter, they see Jesus in my actions and in my words! Sticks and stones hurt and so do words!

Your words can affect anyone and everyone! Your actions can affect anyone and everyone. What are you saying? What are you doing? Who are you affecting? Jus askin