The LIST!!! (insert dramatic music here)

I've been watching "What Chilli Wants" on VH-1. I know, I know....mindless TV! The premise of the show is that Chilli from the group TLC is looking for love. So she hires a "matchmaker!" Enter's matchmaker and Chilli hands her a list of what the man must have and can't have! OH LORD!!!

Any how, I've been on the single route for a minute now. (yep SINGLE as they come) Actually, this is the longest I've gone with out dating or having any prospects. Kinda digging it. (slap me later!!). I'll admit it, I've tried online dating! One of the main things they ask--in order to best match you up-- is a list of your "must haves" and "can't stands." Sidebar, the internet is the internet. YOU CAN BE ANYONE YOU WANT TO BE!! I can be Tiger Woods' neighbor. I can say I have a body of Halle Berry..... I can go on and on, and you get the point.

So a few days ago, I am out with a college friend and we are discussing marriage, dating, sex, the whole nine. This joker has the nerve to tell me to write a list out of what I am looking for in a mate. And you know how stubborn I am. I thought about it for a nano second and then I slapped myself back to 2010. I asked my friend if they have a list when meeting their mate? To my surprise.....NO!! So let me get this straight, come up with a list of what I want in a mate but you met yours without one?!?!?! Um, pot meet kettle

I don't discourage any man or woman from writing down "the List" of what they are looking for in a mate. I just want to know, why do it?

I believe that God has destined who will have the honor and joy of being my husband (I pray for that man!!!! I encourage you to do the same--if you haven't met me, I am alot to handle). Do I want a dude who is a strong man of God? YES!!! Do I want a dude with a sense of humor? Yes! Do I want a dude who's intelligent? OH YEAH!!! and I could go on and on, listing every tiny detail I want in a man! Soon enough, our prayers get consumed with "God he needs to drive a Range Rover and have blue eyes!"

One of my ex-boyfriends introduced me to his mom one night at an O'Charleys restaurant in Alabama. I'll never forget what she had said to me, "You can't help who you fall in love with!" And the hopeless romantic in me, still believes it! There is nothing wrong with a list of qualities we look for in a mate; a list of deal breakers if you want. I feel that the problem with being that picky, limits anyone you will ever meet. You may spend your natural life looking for all 140 "qualities" on your list--never meeting your perfect one!!!

Now I know what you are probably thinking. So here's my soap box moment!

I am not saying to settle for the first man or woman who WOW's you. What I will say, is know your worth and don't settle for anything less. Don't put up with someone's mess because you are hoping one day they will change or see you for who you truly are! And LADIES, just because a man buys you a drink in a bar, or dinner, doesn't mean he deserves an invitation to your bedroom! (jus throwing it out there).

You can pray that your future mate is a great man/woman of God, has a great sense of humor, gentle spirit, kind heart, excellent taste in music....etc. Just don't find yourself praying that they have no kids, brown eyes, wavy dirty blond hair, a nice set of abs, a Lexus crossover. Earthly goods, looks, and money will fade!

"Love never fails....... For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears........
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

Praying God's best for you!